Underneath Where?

Lilybits, not large, but in charge!

Under simply means “beneath and covered by” or “below the surface of.” Some of my favorite places in the house are underneath things—especially during the winter. I like to lie on my pink blankie that Mom knitted for me, underneath the foyer table. Well, technically it’s the shelf under the table. That's where heat vent blows some of the warmest air on me!

Under the table without my blankie.

During Christmas season, one of my special spots to spend time is under the Christmas tree, but on top of the soft Christmas tree skirt. It’s especially good for skidding under when I want Mom to chase me. She’s lazy enough to not always feel like crawling on the floor to grab me.

Don't I make a pretty Christmas present?

After dinner I like to hide under Mom’s dresser right on top of a different heat vent. It helps to have variety. One of my other favorite underneath spots is under Mom and Dad’s bed. I like to sneak under there late at night and then pounce on my humans when they least expect while they’re sleeping. (I like to do this when I feel especially Tigger-ish. You know, like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh stories.) This way I can make sure they’re still breathing. After all, someone has to feed me!

Being silly under the piano.

Of course, there are times when I like to sleep on top of the furniture or on top of Mom or Dad to make sure they remember who is in charge. But underneath spots are cozy places . . . as long as I can escape any time I want. Not that I'm claustrophobic or anything. It's just that I must be allowed to roam like the predatory cat that I am . . . yeah, that's the reason! 

Trouble

Lilybits, not large, but in charge! 

S is for sorry. I am very sorry for not taking time last week to write about how silly or sassy we cats can be, or for that matter, soft. Did you know that cats have something like 155,000 hairs per square inch of their fur? No wonder we’re so soft!

T, on the other hand, is for trouble. Cats do have their troubles. Like when it’s gray most of the winter in Michigan and I can’t find a sunny spot to curl up and rest. It’s like my sunny spot up and disappears for several months each year. Mom says I should be thankful there have been more sunny days than usual this winter, even though it’s been cold.

I also have tummy trouble, which may have something to do with inflammation in my digestive system. Therefore, I receive a medicine “treat” once a day, thinly disguised inside a pill pocket. And I am willing to eat it—this is how desperate I am for the rare treats, which I receive these days due to a doctor’s evil command. Mom also says that I am partially responsible for being what Dad refers to as a “greedy guts” and wolfing my food down too quickly sometimes, so that, let’s just say, it makes a quick reappearance.

Mom thinks I should address the times I actually cause trouble, but I find it difficult to recall any instances. That situation with the lamp up at the cabin a couple of years ago she mentioned? Honestly, when it crashed to the floor from the nightstand and I looked up at her innocently and licked my front paw, I had no idea how it happened. In fact, I was trying to convey, “Can you believe that just happened? Who did this? Not me!”

Mom says that guy I was referring to as “Not me” really doesn’t exist. I’m going to have to come up with better excuses in the future for staying out of trouble. Below, I hope you will enjoy this video on how cats need to take care of their humans. Notice how smoothly I changed the subject? Hopefully I’m not in any trouble now!

Four Things Cats Find RIDICULOUS

1) The first thing I (representing all cats) find ridiculous is not for those of more delicate sensibilities. It is something I consider a mystery. Why don’t humans have litter in their litter box rooms? I mean their litter boxes aren’t even boxes! They are round or oval things filled halfway with cold water—not that I’ve investigated that closely. Eww! I must admit the lever on the side, which conveniently cleans away anything in the box, is convenient. Still wondering why my humans haven’t put one on my litter box. However, Mom says it doesn’t work that way. Hmm . . .

2) The second thing I find ridiculous are dogs dressed in costumes. I mean would or could these dogs below hurt you? The one in the football player costume doesn’t look like he could tackle a very big bone or squeaky toy, let alone another football player!

And this pirate puppy, why he just looks sad.

3) Next, I have a complaint on behalf of the feline species: Why do you dress us up in weird costumes? I mean dogs are eager to please and are sometimes actually willing to relinquish their pride, because of their insecurities. But we cats would like a shred left of our dignity. Just a shred! Well, we would truthfully like more than that.

A cat dressed like Hello Kitty? Isn’t that a bit repetitive and just a bit much?

 This is supposed to be a Christmas cat costume. Looks more like a court jester! The joke is definitely on this cat!

And have you ever seen anything as miserable as a cat in a bumblebee costume? Ouch! That stings! (Pun intended.)

 4) And the fourth thing cats find ridiculous is being laughed at. Admit it, right now, you’re laughing at all of these pictures, aren’t you? Cats are sensitive, elegant creatures of a higher class. Just try to remember this in the future, all right? After all, have I ever looked sadder than in this picture below?