Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Wednesday Whimsy - Dear Miss Lilybits . . .

The Advice Column . . . again!
Dear Miss Lilybits,
When I sit by the back door wall, a chipmunk likes to jump up on the step and taunt me relentlessly. He makes chirruping sounds and dances. I know he’s laughing at me. Or he just sits there pretending I don’t exist. It doesn’t matter how much I whine or take the attack stance. The chipmunk knows he’s safe with that glass between us! My image of feline ferociousness is being challenged every day. What can I do?  Signed, Frustrated Feline(not real name)

Dear Frustrated Feline (not real name),
Short of making a dash between your human’s legs when they open the door and going after the pill, you’re stuck. Make the best of things. First, casually lick your front paws and turn sideways, so it doesn’t look like you care, then show your dominance and take out your frustration on your humans. This is what I call anger projection therapy.

You must go about this slyly. First, beg for a treat by pacing or sitting near the treat cupboard. Whine when your human goes by. There’s nothing like a little comfort food. You do this first, because they won’t want to give you a treat later. Next, you slash the couch in an inconspicuous spot, but do it loudly, so your human is sufficiently annoyed. Walking across the keyboard and standing in front of the monitor when they’re on the computer can also be aggravating. If all else fails, cough up a hairball on an expensive rug or favorite chair.

Once your human is upset, you can go take a nap knowing your job is done. You’re back in control and the chipmunk can fuss all he wants . . . he’s being ignored, well, maybe. Signed, Lilybits, the tail-less wonder

Does your pet have any advice to share with Frustrated Feline? Please share or just comment or follow for this week’s drawing for a $15 Amazon gift card. We’re celebrating the release of Mom’s debut novella, The Pocket Watch in the anthology, Brave New Century, with a new give away every week this month.


  1. Dear Lilybits,

    I do haz some advice for yew. I know how yew can gets more treats.

    Hack a hairball on a favorite blankie or chair right when yer human sits to eat. They will leave the food to clean up yer gift and -- presto! -- yew can eats yer fill.

    I hope yew take dis under ad-vize-ment. Add it to yer secret filez.

    Mom'z got pizza. Gotta go. Woof!


    1. Dear Jake-a-roo,

      You're pretty smart for a dog! Definitely adding this to the secret file. Thanks
      for the comment.

      Your feline friend,