LILYBITS for PRESIDENT in 2016!

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Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are not supported by any political party. They aren't necessarily endorsed by the owner of this blog. The views expressed in this article are definitely from a whimsical cat's eye point of view. 

As a feline of some distinction, I am quite upset neither major political party has considered me for a run. A run for president in 2016 that is.

That guy with the big mouth and toupee may be complaining about illegal aliens, but I suggest there’s a more dire threat out there. Our major cities have rats and mice lurking in all the dark places. Why, I could command an army of cats to take care of that problem in no time.

What about those politicians who used to brag they’d put a “chicken in every pot?” I’m suggesting that it would be less expensive and more nutritious to put a can of tuna in every cupboard! Besides, tuna contains all those omega fatty acids, which are good for your brain. Hmm . . . wait a minute . . . we don’t need our humans getting smarter. Perhaps a chicken in every pot for them and leave the tuna in the cupboard to the cats. Yes, this is a much better idea for my platform.

If you’re concerned about the leader of the free world not having opposable thumbs, well, who do you think is typing this? I’m quite clever after all. I have trained my live-in servants well. Without any work, other than being cute, I have obtained a home, two wet food meals a day and free flowing kibble. What have you done to improve your circumstances lately, without working for it, I may add? Hmm?

Purrs and head scratchings are excellent for diplomatic proceedings. (One of our former presidents proved that by giving the German chancellor a back rub.) A slight tilt of the head and my large expressive eyes will get a diplomat from anywhere to cave to my demands quite quickly. 

Now, considering your doubts because of my youth, since I am around nine in human years, I am actually around 45 in cat years. I’ve been around the block. Well, not literally. I'm not allowed outside. (Fleas!) Now that Mom is brushing me regularly and I’m getting that tasty hairball medicine, I’m in pretty good shape, though.

If you’re worried about the defense of our nation, I am very territorial and will protect it this country by fang and claw! And so will my army of FFF (Ferocious Female Felines). We’ll leave the defense on water to the human navy, though. Might I remind you cats don’t like to get wet?

If you find me less silly, cleverer and more startlingly beautiful than the other candidates, then write in Lilybits Rouser for president at your state’s next presidential primary. After all if you're going to vote for a third party you might as well vote for me. A vote is a terrible thing to waste!

Tweet to share: What happens when a cat tries to run for political office? Find out at http://bit.ly/1N6eN6q via @kathleenrouser #silly #cats