Wednesday, October 23, 2013

WEDNESDAY WHIMSY


The Advice Column

Mom was cleaning again, so I can’t find those books I wanted to finish reading. Where did she put them? However, in my piles of fan mail I sometimes receive questions from other cats and (gasp) dogs, parakeets or guinea pigs that need advice, so here is the first one I’ve chosen to answer.

Dear Miss Lilybits:
During my human’s mealtime, I try to let them know that I would like to partake of the goodies they are consuming, but to no avail. I do this by parading back and forth, letting out an attention-getting meow and by hopping up onto an empty chair and reaching onto the table for food. Usually they call me “mooch” and lock me in the laundry room. Why are my attempts at begging perceived as annoying? Signed, Mr. Whiskers


Dear Mr. Whiskers:
Get over yourself. I would think you’re annoying too. Not that I haven’t tried your tactics, but my humans have a squirt bottle filled with water and I have also been a victim of the laundry room treatment. Learned your lesson yet? Though I’m sure as a petite, svelte female, the cuteness factor works for me better, there are a few things you can do.

First, sit quietly and tilt your head just a bit, with your eyes wide open. (This even works for dogs I’ve heard.) You may let out an occasional cute sound to remind them you’re present. If this doesn’t work, the next step is to reach your paw out and gently, with claws retracted, pat your human’s leg, then resume the stance. If this repeated sweetness doesn’t at least work by the end of the meal, then you’re an embarrassment to domestic cats everywhere! Also, it’s not worth begging unless, meat, poultry, fish or dairy products are involved. Don’t bother to go out on a limb for veggies or fruit. Hope that helps. Signed, Lilybits, the tail-less wonder

Does your favorite pet have some additional advice for Mr. Whiskers? Or a question for Lilybits? Leave a comment and/or follow for a chance to win this month’s drawing for a $15 Barnes and Noble gift card. Thanks for stopping by Writing, Whimsy and Devotion today.

Image from ("The Book of the Cat" by Frances Simpson) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons 


8 comments :

  1. My dog makes sure he is NEVER out of the diner's field of vision as he sits at attention boring holes in you with his black eyes. ;-}

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  2. So cute. Our crazy cat has an eating disorder, so if we give in, we pay for it with hairballs all over the place. She loves just a fingertip of whipped or ice cream, but then we pay and we pay good. She does the wide-eyed thing really well, little stinker.

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  3. Lily says your dog makes an excellent point, Janet, and she hopes Mr. Whiskers is reading. ;)

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  4. I'm telling on Lily now, Linda. We have a similar issue with beef, but
    the results are found in the litter box. :( And she whines from her tummy ache, which makes me feel badly I gave into that look.

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  5. Dear Lilybits, I would never think you were begging. If you need a new home, you can come and live with me.

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    1. Aaww, thanks, Lisa. You understand how hard it is being a little cat. I'll let Mom she's on thin ice with an offer like that.

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  6. It's all in the tone. Make your meow as pitiful as you can, soften it, and give it a slight question. "Meeuuu?" Don't badger them with that silly and persistent, "Meow!" That's very harsh. But "Meeuuu?" gets them every time. It brings tears to their eyes as they realize you're feeling left out, lonely, pushed away at the most important moment of the day--supper! Oh, something else to remember, don't carry that dead mouse to the table and drop it on the lady's foot. That will earn you a week's residence in the dog's house.

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    1. Excellent point, Karen! And dead mice on the foot are definitely a no-no, as are digging claws into the ankle.

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