D is For Desperate!

D is for Desperate

Well now, I suppose you figured I would write something about dogs, but this is a problem. Everyone thinks that dogs are man’s best friend, while I’m trying to convince humans that they should be a cat’s best friend. Instead, I am going to share what I am most desperate for---meat! Melted cheese is a close second, though.

I simply love meat. There’s nothing like it. I do not care about what kind of meat it is. It could be from a cow, a pig or a chicken, though I guess chicken is technically poultry. All right, I guess I’m also desperate for poultry . . . and fish, too. My meals have to be broken up into smaller portions, because of my tummy trouble. This simply means I get to annoy Mom multiple times a day, reminding her that I am HUNGRY! I never quite get filled up.

There’s breakfast, and if Mom comes home after being out part of the morning, I try to scam her into second breakfast. The hobbitses had a great idea! I give her my best pathetic, “but you completely forgot to feed me this morning and then you left me” look. Unfortunately, she’s onto me, especially when I do this several times a day. I also like to dance around at meal time, jumping onto my corner of the counter or pacing near the kitchen island and saying, “Mrraw, mraww. Mraww, mraww,” in a high-pitched voice. She likes it when she thinks I’m trying to say “Mama.” Yeah, right. It’s cat for, “Feed me now and I’ll stop thinking about slashing your ankles.”

Helping Mom with her dinner.

I must admit Mom can even coax me back into the house, when I escape into the yard, by rattling a saucer on which she serves my delicious canned food. It’s meat, er, poultry-based. I like to turn up my nose at the readily available kibble in my bowl, unless she’s not looking. Hee hee!

Desperation for meat has driven me to deception, false humility, loss of dignity and honor, all for the purpose of begging for those juicy animal-flavored morsels. Even I, a regal cat, will lower my standards to get meat!

What food/treat is your dog or cat most desperate for? And what about you? Mom would confess to dark chocolate or ice cream or perhaps dark chocolate on ice cream. Or spaghetti, but not all three at the same time.

D -- 10/29